speak_daggers (speak_daggers) wrote,

idly i smile at him

a boy spoke to me today that i haven't talked with in almost a year. our relationship consisted of sporadic bursts of intimacy and apathy, mingled with a slight but ever present adoration of the other. i miss that trademark boy of my highschool years, even if he did consistently disappoint me with his inconsistency.

all too often i have the most lucid visions of shattering my skull on the nearest window pane|cement wall| highway pavement|etc. these images dance about my brain with slug-like eloquence, the pickling an unforgiving process which discerns little. my endeavors have dulled. my conversations are quiet. beds make the most of me these days... i certainly don't make the most of them. my brain is cramping from a lack of intensity. short, bleak sentences are a symptom of SHITTINESS. healthy or bulimic.
empty : overwhelmed. passionate lifelessness: lifeless passion.
such sweet sorrow.

i've met a boy that
walks in beauty like the night.
and i would gladly give my life to him.

sometimes i get the feeling that i've bonded.
but then i feel dirty.
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